This is a repost from 3/26/2007:

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Last night I heard the sad news about Haregewoin Teferra passing away.

This lady took care of several hundred children in Ethiopia over the last ten years. She took in children with HIV at a time when very little was known about the disease virus or how it was spread. I haven't read it, but I know Kel really liked the book that was written about her: There Is No Me Without You. Here's a quote:

Haregewoin Teferra was happily married to Worku Kebede, a biology teacher and high school principal. She worked in the accounting office of Addis Ababa University and of Burroughs Computer Corporation. The middle-class couple lived in Ethiopia’s capital, Addis Ababa, and doted upon their daughters, Atetegeb, born in 1967, and Suzie, born in 1969. Then a pair of tragedies altered Haregewoin’s life. In 1990, at the age of 54, Worku collapsed and died from a heart attack. Bereft, Haregewoin raised her daughters alone. Atetegeb married, had a baby boy, then fell ill. Her sickness seemed untreatable. Haregewoin spent eight months at her daughter’s side, seeking every cure, consulting every clinic and physician, until, at the age of 24, Atetegeb died.

Haregewoin’s life ended. She spent all day every day draped in black, seated beside her daughter’s grave. A year passed in this way. She felt unable to return to work, unable to accept visits from her friends. “But my daughter,” she protested when they sought her out. “I liked her very much.”

She typed out a line from a song she remembered – “There is no me without you” – and placed it over an old photograph of teenage Atetegeb and Suzie laughing together. After 18 months of profound mourning, Haregewoin asked the Ethiopian Orthodox Church to take her into seclusion. She would leave the world, she would inhabit a hut in the cemetery near her daughter’s grave.

Instead, a Catholic organization approached Waizero [Mrs.] Haregewoin and asked her to shelter a homeless teenage girl. “My life is over,” she replied. “It doesn’t matter what I do. If you think God wants me to take her, then I will take her.” Two weeks later, the Catholic group phoned again to ask if she could shelter a homeless 17-year-old boy. Again she replied, “My life is over,” and she took the boy. Two weeks later, the agency phoned again, this time with two orphaned little girls. They’d lost their parents to AIDS; no one, in that moment of the dawning pandemic, wanted to risk contacting the disease by sheltering the children. But Haregewoin, who felt her life had ended anyway, accepted them into her compound, into her heart.

All that occurred roughly 400 children ago. Today Mrs. Haregewoin provides two houses to about 40 orphaned children, half of them HIV positive.

via: Ethiopian Review.

When we first became a family (just three months ago!), Sparkle could not stand to be away from me. She panicked when I was not in sight and followed me to whatever room I was in. When I left to go grocery shopping, she cried the whole time I was gone. When I went out for a few hours with some friends, she cried herself to sleep. Gradually, these fears and feeling seemed to subside and while she continues to ask lots of questions about when I will be back and where I am going, she handles these absences just fine. I was struck by this particularly this weekend. I was out on Saturday morning and it took longer than I expected. I let J know I would be late, but was concerned about what the kids' reaction would be. He got lots of questions while I was gone and I got a huge response once I got home - and several comments like "Mommy gone long time!" - but no tears. Today, Sparkle had a birthday party to attend for one of her school mates. She only been to another family's house once, and never without one of her parents present. When I dropped her off, she looked a little nervous, but when I asked her twice she said she did not need me to stay. I picked her up two hours later - happy, smiling, and talking excitedly about the prize she won in the bucket toss. It blows my mind when I think back to those first few weeks and then see where we are now. She is an amazing kid.

So we have now officially been home over a month with our 4.5 and 7 year old. I feel like we have found a workable routine, and the girls as well as the rest of the family seem to have found some comfort in that. Really, their adjustment has been remarkable to watch and I am amazed at how well they have adapted so quickly to so many changes. We still have pouting and crying, but I think it is probably within the normal range already for the most part. The girls still want to keep me in sight and do not like to be left alone in a room even for a moment (which means I still always have an entourage in the bathroom with me...sigh) but their reaction to my absence isn't quite as severe as it used to be, and they will at least accept J as a substitute. I know that our experience isn't necessarily the norm and many kids take much longer to adjust, but I wanted to share some of the amazing and surprising positives to having them around that we have discovered:

• Seeing them interact together and support each other when they are sad. I sometimes wonder how much more difficult it would have been for them not to have a sister around. I love listening to them whisper to each other in Amharic in the morning - even with the occasional "Mama" and "Dad" in there (wonder what they are saying about us?). They even hug each other in their sleep.
• Sleeping through the night from the start. They need us there with them to fall asleep, but then they are down for the night about 8:00 to 6:30 every day.
• They are incredible big sisters to Sunshine, and were so sweet to her right from the beginning. Hugs and kisses everyday - out of the blue and when she is sad. They love to help her and are happy to share. There is nothing sweeter than seeing them hug, kiss, and tickle her, and to see the smile on Sunshine's face when I tell her we are going to pick Sparkle up from school now :)
• Their instant love and attachment to me. Sometimes the constant chorus of "Mom Mom Mom" can be overwhelming, but when I step back I know that it comes from their desire for my love, attention, and approval. These girls immediately wrapped their arms around me and claimed me as their mother.
• Watching their attachment to J grow. It wasn't totally there instantly like it was for me for whatever reason - but for that it has been all the more amazing and beautiful to watch their trust in him grow.
• No diapers.
• Hearing their stories about life in Ethiopia.
• Seeing everyday things from their perspective. Semi trucks, scooters, Canada Geese, rabbits, squirrels, lakes, automatic flushing toilets, paper towel dispensers, packets of babywipes and individual packets of kleenex - all of these things and more are amazing and wonderful to my kids.
• Discovering each child's individual talents and strengths.
• Waking up to one of them stroking my face or hair, or just looking at me with obvious love.
• They love doing housework. In fact, their favorite activities include sorting laundry, moving laundry from the washer to the dryer, folding clothes and putting them away, cleaning the bathroom (they actually had an argument over who got to do the toilet), dusting, sweeping, and vacuuming.
• Here is my personal current favorite: Washing their parents' feet and giving us foot massages. They like it so much that this is a nightly routine that we have to put limits on, and J and I now take turns.

Our best day in Ethiopia had to be the one we spent at the home of our new friends. We had the best food of the trip and possibly the best coffee I have ever drank. Our friend S and his family's hospitality was amazing - I ate to uncomfortable excess and this was even while refusing lots of offers for more delicious food. Sparkle had a blast too. She had taken over the use of my camera and I was amused later to find quite a lot of photos of one member of the household in particular that she seemed quite fond of :) Here are some pictures of her with some of our very gracious hosts: And here she is helping out with the coffee ceremony: Bug was pretty pouty for the first hour or so when the cameras were out, but she warmed up later - don't worry! S, his brothers and his sisters were really helpful with her: Our friends also showed us how to make shirowat and injera. After a short demonstration, I decided to give the injera a whirl. Here I am cleaning the press: And here's the mess I left: I realize that you really would probably need video for the full effect, but trust me when I say I do not have good form either. Everyone was in stitches after watching me though, so I guess that's something :) We really had a great day and it is one we will always remember. Thank you, M Family!

There are definitely more exciting and scenic places to go in Ethiopia, but if you are traveling with children and don't want to do any extended travel with them, Debra Zeit is a nice place to go to see some green and have a relaxing afternoon. Here are some photos from the park, where there were lots of interesting birds and plants: And yes: After an hour or two at the park, we decided to take a short taxi ride. Yes, this is regular transportation in the town, but they are also used to tourists so the driver didn't seem too surprised to hear we only wanted to go up the block and back. Our driver negotiated the price and was irritated at the amount the guy tried to charge us. I can't even remember what it was, but I think we only paid around a buck, and the girls loved it: After our horse ride, we went to lunch at a restaurant with mediocre food and an excellent view: We also tried an avocado drink. It was also lovely, but tasted quite bland: Again, it wasn't the most exciting trip but it was just the right pace for a mom finding her feet with two new kids. It was a half day trip for us. We left at 8:30 am, went to the park, for a buggy ride, then out to lunch and were back at the guest house by 2:00. We did not use an agency to book our trip. We just hired a private driver and the cost was about $100 total for the four of us.

I think my baby has made a pretty big breakthrough this week as far as her sisters go. As I believe I mentioned before, she was very interested in her two new older siblings when they first came home, but about a week later got somewhat hostile. She didn't want them near her when they tried to give her kisses or play, and she just generally seemed down and unhappy. Well, I am happy to say things have improved a lot this week. She is more playful and actually voluntarily shares toys and food with them - as they always have with her. She will frequently cross the room with a random object to hand it to one of her sisters and say "thank you". Half eaten bananas and mutilated bagels with the cream cheese licked off are also offered across the table. Also, when we went to pick up Sparkle from school today and later when we walked to the park, she did not want Mommy to carry her. She wanted to hold her sisters' hands. So the girls walked down the sidewalk - the three holding hands and Sunshine in the middle both times. I walked behind them. That was when I got my twinge - but in a very very good way.

Tomorrow will mark the one month anniversary since I met Doodlebug and Sparkle. Hard to believe! It will also mark the beginning of my time at home with the kids without extra support. Up until now, I have had lots of help from friends and family. Grandma Janice was here with us for nearly a week after I first got home, J was at home for almost two weeks, and my dad was here for the past five days. I had one or two days in between there where I was mostly alone, but I still at least had friends drop off or send over dinner for me. (Have I mentioned how incredible you all are? Really you have no idea how much all of that has helped). Anyway, I am nervous but I do think we are on our way to finding a workable routine. My dad was in town, but he is really great at avoiding the camera (always has been). He's the one with his head cut off in the pic below. My brother Jerrod and his girlfriend Jamie also joined us for two days this week. Here's Jerrod trying to get a jump on this year's "Uncle of the Year" competition: And yes, he did manage to do a lap or two around the playroom like that. The whole crew (Jerrod, Jamie, Dad, the kids, and I) also went to the Children's Museum on Monday, which the kids loved. I'll add some pics from that once I can figure out how to get them off of my phone. Miscellaneous photo catch up: Here is the queen of pretend-play taking excellent care of one of her babies: And our family's artist: And here is the best one I could get of my sweet baby, who has recently become much more difficult to photograph: This might be worthy of a full post one of these days, but while I was in Ethiopia someone apparently finally told this kid that she is a toddler. You would not believe how many photos I have of the back of her head. We try to have some type of activity each day (crafts or an outing like the park, library, or zoo) and she is consistently the one who causes the disruptions and is running all over the place. At least the cheek-splitting smile is back though :) She does seem to be warming up to her sisters again somewhat. She really seems to look up to Sparkle and the two always hold hands in the car. Poor Doodlebug is still getting snubbed though. Doodlebug loves to give her kisses but Sunshine generally pushes her away. I think she feels a bit more competitive with Bug as they are almost exactly the same size.

We were lucky enough to be selected to be couriers for our friends Zygo and D to deliver some things for Zygo's family in ET. Our reward? Four days with Zygo's fabulous brother and our new friend, S. Zygo recommended that we go see Entoto Mountain with S at night, so that we could see all the lights. Unfortunately, my girls were ready for bed by 7:00 and generally began to meltdown around 6:00, so we had to make it a day trip. We still had a fabulous time though. Entoto Mountain is a great day trip if you want to see a little more than the downtown area of Addis Ababa but only have say, a half day to spare. It was the perfect kind of outing for groups like us with two kids in tow. There is also some decent shopping near the base of the mountain. (Is it called Shiromeda? Please correct me here...) This is also the area where the Former Women Woodcarriers' Compound is located. The women who work there used to earn a living by carrying firewood down the mountain. They sell hand woven scarves and baskets. It is a fair trade organization and you can get beautiful stuff for less than the price of lower quality items at the tourist shops. Anyway, here are some pics from that day - Landscapes driving up the mountain. The trees are mostly eucalyptus, I believe. As you can see, deforestation and erosion is a serious problem: View from the mountain: Emperor Menelik II was the Emperor who founded the city of Addis Ababa. He built his palace on Entoto Mountain. You can tour the remains of the palace and grounds. There is also a small museum and a church on the mountain. The church from a distance: The museum (the church and the museum are actually very near each other): Inside Menelik's bedroom: And the tourist shot:

One of the things I loved about this trip to Addis Ababa was that I felt that I got to see more of the "real" Addis. Don't get me wrong - our drivers still took us to a lot of Ferengi(foreigner)-friendly restaurants (the kind that serve chicken sandwiches as well as misirwat) but we also did venture out and take a public taxi, go to some smaller cafes, and avoided the really obvious tourist shops for trinkets to take home with us. We typically went to one restaurant a day and ate our other meals at the guest house. I bought for three adults (Erika, our driver, and myself) plus the two kids. At restaurants clearly geared toward our "type", I would spend around $10-20 for meals and drinks for everyone. Once I spent nearly $30, but that was because I splurged on ice cream sundaes and appetizers too - and that was at a straight up Ferengi joint of course. At a local cafe where the customers were all locals, I spent less than $4 for a plate of pasta and a plate of misirwat to share, plus Fantas and Cokes for everyone. This was one of our favorite tourist-type restaurants: Here was our view from our table - the restaurant is on the 10th floor: Here is what we ate: And here is Erika holding my daughter so she doesn't go off the top: For a little added adventure, the only elevator developed some problems while we were eating, so we had to take a scary steep spiral staircase attached to the outside of the building down the first three of the ten flights of stairs to get down: We also did a lot of shopping. We probably shopped in some capacity almost every other day. I did go to a mall type place to buy the girls' traveling home clothes (they were so thrilled to be able to pick out an outfit all for themselves), but mostly we shopped roadside. Here's where the girls and I bought our shoes: We mostly went grocery shopping in the Western style stores like this: But here are some great shots Erika got of food sold on the street: And here is my favorite discovery of all - the world's greatest pottery shop: I bought about 15 great items here for less than $15 - and I think that was the Ferengi price - coffee pots, wat bowls (anyone know the real name for those?), small dishes, little carves animals, a vase, and spice bowls. I would have bought more if I thought I could have gotten them safely home in my bag - and now I wish I would have tried! ***Thanks again to Erika for being my trip photographer and sharing her pics! I think nearly all the pics on this site were taken by her.

I traveled this year with my amazing friend Erika while J stayed home with our Helen. His mother came part way through the week to help with her so he could return to work while I was away. Erika and I left Chicago on a Saturday and had an eight hour layover in New York, which was annoying. However, once we got on the Emirates plane we were instantly impressed. The plane entertainment system is ridiculous - literally 100+ movies to choose from including dozens of current releases like "No Country for Old Men" and "Juno". They also had dozens of computer games to choose from: It still isn't physically comfortable to sit there in coach for 12 hours, but the first class people have it made - they can literally lay flat. Our first big event of the trip was an unexpected discovery. On the plane, I was looking at the Emirates literature in their seatback. They have a booklet about Emirates Foundation, and it talks about a recent project with KM in Addis Ababa where they helped beautify the place by bringing in colorful curtains etc. They have photos of about six kids, and guess who is one of them? Our Bug with her top teeth over bottom lip smile!: I didn't sleep as much on the flight as I should have - both from nerves and from my addiction to "Bedazzled", but really for a twelve hour flight it was relatively painless. We spent twelve hours in Dubai. The airport security was relatively easy to deal with - not nearly the hassle it is in America, but the airport is under construction so we had to take a 15 minute bus ride from our plane to the terminal, which I wasn't crazy about. We got the cheapest hotel room our travel agent offered us, and it amuses me to say that we are staying at a Holiday Inn in the UAE. It was about $120 a night and in a suburb about a half hour away. We enjoyed the drive though - it gave us a chance to see a bit of this famous city. The hotel is the nicest Holiday Inn I have ever seen - beautiful and ornate lobby, roomy guest room and bathroom: The staff and service were also far superior to anything I have had at a Holiday Inn in the US, but other than that the only difference between this Holiday Inn and the others I have been to was the fact that this was there in place of the typical Bible in the bureau drawer: Overall, I would recommend Emirates and was impressed with my experience traveling through Dubai.

I swear I�ll get some stuff up here eventually about our time in Ethiopia � I just need some time to breathe and get my bearings! Ok, the truth is the kids are great but they are keeping three adults very busy and I am terrified of that shrinking adult to child ratio � so maybe I should make no promises.

Anyway, here are a few pics from the past few days � our first five at home together.

Playing with new legos:

Sparkle styling Sunshine�s hair:

Reading a bedtime story:

Making beautiful jewelry:

Mommy styling Bug�s hair:

And playing at the park: